My Dating Theory

I have this dating theory. Unfortunately, it didn’t occur to me until after I was already married. I still get to do it, but the impact is different since he already loves me. The thing is that I can’t get over the idea that my theory would work wonderfully if used appropriately. However, please bear in mind that any act to attract attention should really be tailored to that special someone. Romancing ought to be personal (at least check for allergies).

All right, so here’s the situation. You are interested in Man A who I will now refer to as Austin. Austin works down the hall. He’s somewhat moody, has a straightforward way of speaking and you can tell by looking at him that his mom doesn’t pack his lunch. Normally, I would recommend flirting, but that would ruin the experiment. Instead, act friendly when you’re around him. Be calm, take a breath before you speak and give yourself that moment to act like a lady – cool and beautiful – but not forward.

Next you’ll need a bag of chocolate covered pretzels. This should be store bought, since it’s going to be anonymous. When Austin is not around, put them on his desk with a tag that has his name on it. Leave absolutely no signature or indication where they may have come from. But he absolutely has to know they’re for him.

Anonymous gifts drive people crazy, thus creating a feeling of mystery. Did you know that the words mystery, romance and seduction are all synonyms of each other?

For your next gift I recommend a caramel apple from the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, but it’s up to you. Once again - make it anonymous. Keep your identity secret and send him a gift once a week for a month. No need to do more - it will get his attention. And if you find out that he doesn’t like your gifts then cut it out and no one is the wiser.

After about a month, sign the first letter of your name on the card. With just that little of a hint, Austin should be at your desk within minutes asking if it’s you – since he’s probably been going nuts. Immediately confess, but act like it’s not a big deal. He’ll probably ask you why you did it. Say, “To cheer you up.” You are absolutely not allowed to say that you like him. Why? Because the fun part of a romance is at the beginning and it would not be any fun to jump the gun. Prolong it.

Then on the Monday afterwards, show up at Austin’s desk around lunch with something tasty (and not sweet) and offer to share. It’s a win/win situation. Because you’ve been so cool you won’t come off as a stalker and even if a romance with Austin is impossible, I bet you’ll have earned yourself a great friend.