I used to get tricked into going on dates with guys I didn't like. A guy, usually a guy who had a girlfriend, would call me up and ask me if I wanted to come on a group activity. A bunch of kids were going to do something fun and I could come along with no date? Awesome! Except I'd show up and it was a single date or a double date and I was paired up with someone I never would have consented to go out with if Mr. Matchmaker had been honest.
On this particular occasion, I was distinctly repelled by something about my date's mouth. His name was Stephen and I was really not into Stephen's mouth. His lips were enormous in a way that just rubbed me all wrong.
But I tolerated the rollerblading date and thought pleasantly that it would be over soon and I would no longer be around this guy I was actually repelled by. He drove me home, by himself. We were alone in the car and I was not thrilled by that prospect. I didn't know him and I had not agreed to a single date with him.
We drove in silence.
“Isn't there anything you want to know about me?” he asked.
“Nothing's coming to mind,” I replied.
“Don't you even want to know my last name?”
I straightened. Yeah, I did want to know his last name in case he attacked me and I needed to file a police report. “Okay,” I said. “What's your last name?”
He told me.
And I immediately responded with, “What's your grandfather on your dad's side's first name?”
Again he told me, and I snorted.
He gawked. “No, we're not.”
“Yes, we are. Your grandfather and my grandmother are first cousins." I started listing his first cousins, one of which was Wyatt and I suddenly made the connection. The reason I didn't think he was attractive at all was that he actually had lips like two of my brothers. Those really pronounced lips; my dad had them too.
“We're third cousins,” I announced. “Little too close for me to want to date you.”
He didn't believe me, but I didn't really care. I sent him home to ask his daddy. It was a little weird when I got to the single adult ward after high school and I heard the ladies gushing over him. Yeah, like he was my brother.
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