I May be Dated

It may have been a whole year ago, but once upon a time I was giving an adorable young man advice on what to do on a date with a girl. My idea was to take her to a fountain (the nicest one in your city, Boy) and give her a pretty little pouch with 50 pennies in it. Then – tell her to make wishes. A nice boy will bring 50 pennies for him to makes wishes with too. Then as they make wishes they basically tell each other about their hopes and dreams. And with 50 pennies – that’s a lot of wishes to make. I’d soon resort to admitting that I wanted a new hairdryer … or something like that. Anyway, I’d call it a romantic shortcut to foretelling compatibility. You’re going to know pretty quick if your lives mesh.

Anyway, then this guy turned to me and asked, ‘So, what do girls do to win over guys?’ I took a deep breath in … preparing for my rampage … when my husband cuts in and says, ‘She shows up.’ Which is hilarious and true, so I just let the conversation go, but I always wanted to answer him.

For starters, I would like to remind everyone that men are visually stimulated. I’ve read tons of advice recommending dressing immodestly to get a man’s attention. Don’t do that. In a survey conducted by the University of Alberta, they asked men if they thought that women were on the lookout for sex when they dressed provocatively. One out of every three men said yes. Not from the man she particularly liked – from anyone. Keep your clothes on. Basically, the only thing you have to do is dress in a way that is opposite to the way he dresses – so pink, or floral prints, or ruffles – whatever does it for you. The purpose is to get him to notice that you’re a woman. I find that skirts are a fast track since guys don’t wear them and black is slimming.

After that, it really depends on the guy you’re after. Most guys I knew when I was dating were not accustomed to a girl paying attention to them, so they got very excited when they got it. More experienced daters may be more interested in a girl who shuts them down because they never get shut down.

The best thing a girl can do for herself is to show her personality and not give a rip if Mr. Whatever likes her or not. Don’t necessarily give him what he wants. Most people admire spirit even if they don’t like the details. So, be a real breathing person and not a Barbie doll. Don’t fix your hair or put on makeup if he comes over before you’ve put them on. And don’t eat like a bird! I'll discuss why that's bad next time.