When did 'Gross' and 'Romance' become Synonyms?

Where did my love of a good romance go?  It’s sad really.  One day I was curled up in an armchair with a book cracked over my knee pouring over a drippy romance novel wishing that the afternoon would never end.  Now when I scrolling through the latest movie previews I skip the romance.  How did that happen?

I have some theories.  Here’s one.  I think it might be because none of the romances that I read/watch these days resonate with me at all.  They seem to be about people who hop into bed with each other, find out that their personalities don’t match, but they still like sex, so they continue to see each other until they can figure out a way to get along.  That means nothing to me.  Absolutely nothing. 

Another theory, and this is more often a book thing, is that the story centers on a girl who has no backbone, yet she has this intriguing man pursuing her.  As a retired pro at getting a man’s attention – door-mousy women bore me.  And in reality, interesting men tend to fall for interesting women.  See?  They bore the men too.  I also think that book is written by an author who has no spunk (and has never been within ten feet of a man who wasn’t her brother), so she quietly writes this mousy female character while dreaming that a man like the hero of her novel will come along and sweep her off her feet.  P.S. I was talking to one of my friends today and I was telling her about a virgin romance where the heroine was pursued by no less than eight men.  She was like, ‘Finally, something I can relate to!’  Tee hee!  Seriously, why can’t we have women heroines who are vibrant and exciting?

Another theory - I have thrown out several books this past year because in the midst of the romance, we are forced to read a section about our heroine’s vibrator.  Doesn’t a woman who reads a romance novel at least want to read about a man?  And doesn’t the author want her book to end up … say … not in the trash can?

The kind of romance novel I like best is one about a woman who is fully aware that all men are pigs, and so she likes to use them for their money and then leave their jaws hanging.  The hero is a man who sees through her angst and schemes, proving to her (rather difficultly) that he won’t disappoint her the way all the other pigs … ahem … men do.  However, he’s really got to break his neck.  It’s no fun if she gives in too easily.

Anywhoo – anyone who knows of a romance with this premise, please send it my way.