So, I met the King of the Babies. I’ll bet you’re wondering who he is. Well, let me tell you about him.
First of all, everything he says is inaudible. It’s like when a doctor is writing a
prescription and their handwriting is illegible. The pharmacist inevitably has to call the
doctor’s office for confirmation, but the line is busy and it’s never free, so
they guesstimate. It’s like that. You can’t understand anything he says, so you
guess. If you get it wrong, his face
will curl up and he’ll cry. And for
non-tyrannical reasons, you’ll be sorry you made him cry.
Next, the King of the Babies finds everything amusing. You can tell him that he’s about to get a shot
in the leg for various diseases. You can
even list them and tell him the symptoms of each, but he’ll just smile at you
and blink cutely. You can even go
further than that and tell him about the car crash you just passed and the
reason why they are cleaning off the street, but no matter what horrible thing
you tell him you cannot disturb his tranquility. He’s like the Buddha.
The King of Babies is also waited on hand and foot. He has someone to bathe him, dress him, feed
him, and play with his feet (when he’s too tired to reach them). This may make him sound like a demanding
master, but that’s far from the reality.
He doesn’t need a helicopter to fly him out to a hotel resort to have a
good time. As stated before, he is quite
content to play with his own hands or feet, without bothering anyone. He doesn’t even need movie tickets.
It goes without saying that the King of Babies is very
popular among his subjects. Who are his
subjects? Why, anyone he meets. He’s soft and warm and draws a crowd. They don’t kiss his ring (that would be a
choking hazard), but they kiss the top of his fuzzy warm head. And people never say a word against him
because he is completely bald.
Like most people, the King of Babies likes to travel; but,
unlike most people he doesn’t care if he gets anywhere. He is totally comfortable going in circles
around a single room, where there isn’t much to see. He also likes riding in a car even though his
car seat is rear facing allowing him only to see the back of the captain seat
his seat is strapped to. He isn’t even
allowed a view of the passing scenery, as his seat points him toward the sky
rather than the road.
No comments:
Post a Comment