Quarter Life Crisis

So, I took a break last week.  I didn’t update Whenever You Want.  I sat around and moped.  Actually, I wish I could say I sat around and moped.  I didn’t.  I got so busy that I forgot all about Thursday updates and then when I sat down to do it on Friday my hubby asked what I was doing.  “Thursday updates!” I said cheerfully.  “It’s Friday,” he said.  All the blood ran out of my face.  “Well, what’s the point now?  Wah!”  It went something like that.  Yeah, I was so busy, I missed a day.  Anyhoo, here’s today’s update.

So, I keep hearing people talk about their ‘quarter life crisis.’  Luckily, it’s not anything I hear out of any of my acquaintance’s mouths.  A mid-life crisis seems to be when you’re around 47 and you realize that you’re half way done your life and either a) you haven’t done anything; or b) you don’t want to admit that you’ll die so you start acting like an idiot teenager so you can feel like you’ve turned the clock back. 

I’ve decided that a quarter life crisis has more to do with your looks then your lifespan.  You’re 25 and you realize you only have ten more years of being cute and then you’ll start to get crows’ feet and laugh lines.  And you won’t be able to play a teenager on the Disney Channel anymore. 

Personally, I think these people are strangely misguided.  They think they stop being cute at 35ish (maybe 45 with surgery).  I disagree.  I think people stop being cute after their baby teeth start to fall out.  So, the window of chibi cuteness is from about age one to six.  But then you have the humiliation of being in a diaper.  So, let’s say you get potty trained on your third birthday (a little optimistic there).  That makes four years, maybe three, of being cute. 

So, to celebrate hideous adulthood, I would like to provide a list of adult pleasures that have absolutely nothing to do with looks.

1.      Having a drivers’ license.  Even if the cop shouts, “Agh!  What is that thing?” when you roll down your window, he can’t give you a ticket for being funny looking.

2.      Being employed.  You may not have a lot of money, but at least you get to decide what’s done with it.  You get to pick your own cheap apartment.  Do you want the one with the dishwasher that has the chalk outline and blood stain on the living room rug or the one with bars on the windows the size of postage stamps and no blood stain?

3.      Remote control control.  Yes, you get to decide what to watch.  No one is making you watch that documentary on fleas.  You decided that for yourself.

4.      No more gym class.  I know, too easy.

I could go on.  But I’d rather go outside and weed.  You don’t have to be cute to weed.