Men Aren't Cute

 

Did you know that men aren’t cute?  I mean, I’m a woman, and I always thought men were nice to look at.  Did you know they’re not?  Well, at least not like women.  A woman must be the most gorgeous thing on the planet – bar none.  Wanna know why?

Over the past couple years, I’ve been on the lookout for artists that make great pictures of men.  It’s a professional pursuit because I want to make beautiful book covers (both for myself and people I like).  I can’t find anyone who makes nice illustrations of men.  Even the photography leaves a great deal to be desired.  Does no artist on the planet look at a man and think of a pose that would make women swoon?  Well, they do, but they inadvertently get him to take his shirt off and flex all eighteen of his abs and then cut half his face out of the shot.  I guess there’s nothing to muse about unless it’s basically a strip tease.

Seriously, I can find thousands of pages of fun illustrations of girls with shopping bags, playing at their laptop, petting their cat, chatting on the phone, doing their nails, and driving their Barbie car, but the pictures of men hurt my feelings.  All the man illustrations are of a guy with no eyes, nose, or mouth.  He has a chin and a hairline and a tie that is a little black triangle for the knot and a black upside down kite for the tail.  He’s toting a brief case and standing in front of a chart that shows the profits rising. 

Doesn’t anyone think that a picture of a man could be romantic?  We could have a picture of a man holding a rose in the rain with his hair falling in a curl between his eyes.  We could have a picture of a guy with a flirty expression on his face leaning against a wall.  We could have a guy carrying a nondescript girl in his arms.  There’s none of that. 

If any of you are artists out there, I’m telling you, there is a major hole in the market here that you could sink your teeth into and make a fortune.  Even if you just found a hot guy and took a million pictures of him and then posted them to a stock photography site – you’d probably be rolling in the bucks.  Or if you have a talent for graphic design, make a few pics of an attractive man (think of how they make the male ponies look in My Little Pony), make him six different colours and you’ll be raking it in in no time.

As things stand there are a zillion pictures to choose from of women, so guess what all my upcoming covers (not that they will be coming out soon) are going to be of?  That’s right.  Women.