May you Never be the Reason

Take a look at this quote:

May you never be the reason why someone who loved to sing doesn't anymore.  Or why someone who dressed so differently now wears standard clothing.  Or why someone who always spoke of their dreams so wildly is now silent about them.  May you never be the reason for someone giving up a part of themselves because you were demotivating, non-appreciative, or even worse sarcastic about it.  

- Shorouk Mostafa Ibrahim

I don't agree with the punctuation in that quote, but that's the way it was displayed, so we'll use it as is.

When I first read this, I felt sick.  Sick to my stomach.  Ill to the bone.  The thing is... I am always the reason why people give up writing.  I don't tease them.  I don't make fun of them, but I have had concourses of people approach me and ask me questions about how I write novels.  They approach me and say with bold confidence proclaiming that they are a WRITER!  A few minutes later, they withdraw from me mumbling to themselves, 'Why did I say I was a writer?'

I'm not trying to scare them off.  I'm not trying to hurt their feelings.  They ask me a question and I answer it with realism, but I am treated like I told a toddler there was no such thing as Santa Claus.  Here's how it goes: 

Me:  I didn't write a good novel until my twelfth.

Them:  You wrote eleven novels before you wrote a good one?

Me:  Yes.  How many novels have you written?

Them: ... One.

Me: How many words is it?

Them: Eighteen thousand.

Me:  That's not a novel.  The bar for novels is 40,000 words.  What you've got there is a short story, or if you're being fancy, a novelette, but it's not a novel.

I promise you, absolutely no one likes being told that what they thought was a novel is a short story.  These people who approach me like to lie to me as well.  They like to act like they are already novelists and have already conquered the literary world.  I don't enjoy these conversations either because they will pin me against a wall at a party and tell me their ideas until the lights go out.  I've found a couple of ways to diffuse them:

Me: Here's my business card.  You can buy print and ebook copies of my books on that website.  Where can I buy your books?

Them: ... They're not for sale yet.

Alternatively--

Me:  How old were you when you wrote your first 100,000-word book?

Them:  I haven't yet.

Me:  That's okay.  That's not for everybody.  How old were you when you wrote your first book over 60,000 words?

Them: ... Uh... not yet.

Me: 40,000?

Them:  How old were you when you wrote your first book over 100k words?

Me:  Eighteen.

If you saw their face, you'd know that they believe with all their souls that I am being unbearably mean to them.  Yet, I did not tease them.  I didn't make fun of them.  All I did was sprinkle a dash of reality on their fantasy, which most of the time, THEY ARE DOING NOTHING TO REALIZE.  Sometimes I wonder if their dream is to pin me against a wall like a butterfly being pinned to a board.  They don't want to write a novel, they want to talk about writing a novel.  

I was at a wedding recently where someone told me they had an idea for a book.  I shook my head and told them that they didn't need my permission or approval to write a novel.  They should just go ahead and write whatever they'd like.  They replied, "I just have to tell someone my idea for this book tonight."

I was so stressed out, I walked straight out of the building, leaving the reception, never to return.  

The thing is... dreams are a luxury.  They are a big padded luxury.  Not everyone gets to sing.  I have had enough choir directors point in my direction and say, 'Someone over there is off.'  Not everyone gets to dress the way they want.  They must wear a uniform.  And anyone who wants to tell me about their dreams had better be telling me about their new kitchen cabinets because I can only take so much before I snap.  

I can't make aspiring writers' dreams come true.  I can't promise them that their idea is going to be a bestseller.  I can't guarantee that they will not waste their time.  Those are things that are decided by them as an individual or on mass.  Do what you want.  You don't need anyone's permission or approval and likewise, if you don't want to be influenced by the negativity of others, then don't be!  There is no reason for you to blame the person who popped your bubble!  Get a grip and blow another bubble!